In Retro

I’m always scared
To fall behind
So I work like
My life depends
On it.
It does if you think
About it.
Without education
Who am I?
I have skills
But no sponsor
To drive it through.

Who am i
Without knowledge?
Just a plain boring
That has nothing
To offer in this life.
Education has made
Me who am I.
God has held me through
It all.

So forgive me if
My thoughts
And actions seems
Or my words
Don’t add up.
I have tunnel vision.

Couple year back
I was trapped
In that tunnel.
In retro
I was meant to walk
Through the tunnel.
Never meant to
Be trapped in it.
Pitch black
Was all I saw
Blood was my friend.

The tunnel is a passge
Not a destination.
Do you hear me.?
Do my words reach out
To you?
I gave up many times
But the fighter in me
Wouldn’t give in
In retro
I guess that’s a good thing.

So to those of you
Out there.
You got this.
Rattle that invisible cage
Push the doors
You will see they open.
Everything isn’t
As bad as it may seem.

Fight the voices
Argue with that voice.
That’s what I did.
It drove me crazy.
Mute and filled with anger
But nowhere to channel it.
So I turned to myself.
Anything to quiet that voice.
“you don’t control me
I control you.
You don’t own this vessel
I do”
Shout at the mirror
Say those words out loud
You got this!!.

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