No keys no emotions

I got emotions
But they won’t
Come out.
Why won’t they
Come out.

Swiping and staring
Waiting and wishing
For a trigger to come
At me.
It comes but it
Crumples away like dust.
It’s no use in trying.
This is me.
The new me.

I sit and stare
With emotions
Banging begging to come out.
I sit and stare
Sorry but I lost the keys.
So determined to reach
My goal
I saw you as a
Waste of energy
A waste of productivity.

I can feel you
Wanting to come out.
I don’t have the keys
And for that
I am sorry.

I have stabbed myself
On the toe
Thinking it would help.
It is swollen and painful
Why wont I cry?
I feel the emotions
But they can’t come out.

I don’t like this
Feeling as though
Someone has taken it away
Let me go back to being
Productive again.
I’m way too layed back
Can’t find it in me
To revise or study any more.

I see you
at the window
Sorry but I don’t
have the keys.