Family members can unintentionally drive you to your death bed. i am currently planning to write a poem based on this due to a personal experience i am currently going through .
so im halve Nigerian and halve french.. Long story short my parents got divorced and my mum gave us to our dad (who is one hell of a human being if i would add.. i mean it in a positive way.) so i grew up with my Nigerian family and oh my days! wait till you hear what i have to write about these “perfect humans”. before i get into this i may have to warn you that this can and may piss some of you off, so please do read it light heartily (LOL).
i will start with the idea of church. whilst growing up there was this big fuss of dressing well to church and looking the right way. I would always rebel and say I would not wear what they want me to wear. I would wear whatever made me comfortable which was a shirt or jumper and jeans.
Fast forward 9 years later after successful battling depression and anxiety overcoming those two in an African household was sooooo hard. As in sooo hard. Sleeping became a problem i was told I sleep like a “pregnant woman” they would be unhappy and start shouting at me for sleeping. (this is still a problem but it has been upgraded) now I’m 22 and I’m being told I should sleep enough of I “sleep enough” I’m being told I sleep too much. Can you feel the frustration?. All these time I was muted. Because the moment you open your mouth to defend yourself, it’s looked down upon. its very disrespectful.
Im at my 2nd year of uni and I’m currently living with my older sister.. Who by the way is… I don’t even know how to discribe her. She’s that kind of person that would tell you not to do something but would herself do what she told me not do to. I see and hear everything so growing up with her has been a roller-coaster.
If she wasn’t telling me off for my “hygiene” it would be my sleeping or the way I dress. Over the years I have got hold of myself so it reduces what she has to say to me. Now that she has nothing to say to me and all I have to say is “good morning”, Its church. Like how I work and sleep past the morning serves. There is also the evening service.
There are some days I just don’t want to serve God in church. I want to be by myself in my quiet living room (which is also my bedroom and study room) and be in the presence of God. But no! ” you have no excuse in missing the evening service.” there whole day was busy the one time that I was planning to make it to chruch something comes up. And it involves the kids. Her attitude towards me is as though she is a perfect human.
They say nothing but bad things why? For the fear that you might grow to look down on them.. If they applaud you for the good things you’ve done..