Standing out

why am i not like them?
whats wrong with me?
some days i am gloomy
some hours i am carefree.
give it a few days to sink in
I start regretting
letting loose.

Put me in a room with outgoing peeps
i might stand out
not physically
but mentally.
Not ready to show 
the real me
so i speak as little
as possible.
zone out and blame
the lack of sleep.
why am i not like them?

They broke their barriers
i am still struggling 
with mine
are we not the same age?
they intimidate me.
they flow with kindness
even on their lowest days.

i push myself hard
i want to be the best
but i realise 
i lack in many areas.
when will my time come?
when will i start
doing things i want?

GET OUT!!!
you've put yourself 
in a cage again.
the doors are not locked 
i am free to go
but i stop myself 
why?
because i don't trust myself